7. Asking for What You Want

Let me ask you something—

Have you ever smiled your way through Father’s Day while quietly feeling… disappointed?

Like maybe the gift missed the mark, or the day just kind of happened around you—but didn’t really include you?

You didn’t say anything, of course. You didn’t want to seem ungrateful.

But still, part of you wondered, “Why does this never feel quite right?”

If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.

Because today, we’re talking about something really simple—but powerful: asking for what you want.

Not in a demanding way. Not in a “make it all about me” kind of way.

But in a clear, grounded, confident way.

And if that feels hard or unfamiliar—I promise you’re not the only one.

But once you learn how to do it, it can change everything.

What It Means to Feel Celebrated

 

With Father’s Day coming up, I’ve been thinking about what it means to actually feel celebrated.

And I don’t mean just getting a card or someone throwing together a last-minute lunch.

I mean really feeling seen… appreciated… like the people in your life actually know you.

Why We Stay Quiet

 

Here’s the thing most people don’t say out loud: we all want to feel valued.

But so many of us don’t say what we actually want.

We hope someone just… knows. That they’ll pick up on the hints. That they’ll plan the perfect day. That the gift will be just right.

And I get why we do that. You don’t want to come across as difficult. Or ungrateful.

You tell yourself, “It’s fine. It’s just a day.”

But here’s what I see happen again and again—

You don’t ask. And you wind up going through the motions.

You’re smiling at brunch, but inside you feel disappointed.

You’re handed a gift you don’t really like, but you say thank you anyway.

And later, you’re left wondering why you feel so… flat. Maybe even a little invisible.

It’s not because you don’t care. It’s because something inside you does care—and you didn’t give that part a voice.

A Personal Example

 

I’m really picky about gifts. I know that about myself.

And for a long time, my husband would give me flowers. Over and over.

Which… I mean, is sweet, right? And to be clear—my husband is one of the most thoughtful, tuned-in gift givers I know. He listens. He pays attention.

But I finally had to tell him: “Hey, I think flowers are beautiful. I appreciate the gesture. But if we’re going to spend money, I’d rather it be on something that really lights me up—something that brings me joy or creates a memory.”

And I’ll be honest—before I told him, I wrestled with it.

I thought, “Don’t be difficult. He’s trying. Just be grateful.”

But I realized… I was being grateful and disappointed. At the same time.

And that’s not his fault. It was mine—for staying quiet.

And here’s the wild part—once I finally said something, I felt closer to him. Because I was being honest. And he got to really know me.

Now, when I get a gift? It’s something that feels personal, thoughtful—and spot-on.

What Asking for What You Want Really Does

 

That’s what asking for what you want does.

It’s not about controlling the outcome. It’s about creating real connection. It’s about letting people love you well.

What Would Feel Good This Father’s Day?

 

So let me ask you: What would actually make you feel appreciated this Father’s Day?

Not what you should want. Not what you’ve settled for in the past. What would feel good?

Maybe it’s time with your kids. Maybe it’s a quiet afternoon with no obligations. Maybe it’s steak, bourbon, and a nap.

Maybe it’s simply hearing from your family: “Hey, I see you. I appreciate you.”

Whatever it is, don’t wait for someone to guess. Don’t leave it to chance.

How to Say It Out Loud

 

Say what you want. Out loud.

If you’re wondering what that even sounds like, here are a few ways to start:

• “Hey, I’ve been thinking about Father’s Day, and here’s what would make it feel really good this year…”
• “I’d love to just spend a few hours with the kids doing something low key. That would mean a lot to me.”
• “This year, I’d rather skip the gifts and just plan a dinner out together. That feels more meaningful to me.”

You don’t have to make it awkward. You don’t have to overexplain. Just be clear.

You’re allowed to say what matters to you.

It’s Not Selfish—It’s Leadership

 

And listen—I know it can feel uncomfortable at first. Especially if you’re used to being the one who just goes with the flow.

You might worry that speaking up is selfish. Or demanding.

But let me flip that around.

Asking for what you want is actually one of the most intimate, generous things you can do.

It says:

• “I know myself.”
• “I trust you enough to be honest.”
• “I want you to know me better.”

That’s not selfish. That’s leadership. It shows your family what healthy communication looks like.

It gives them a chance to really connect with you. And it gives you the kind of day that actually means something.

This Week’s Challenge

 

So here’s my challenge for you this week:

Don’t brush it off. Don’t stay silent.

Think about what would make you feel appreciated… and ask for it.

You can make this weekend meaningful. You can feel seen. You can show your family what it looks like to speak up with confidence and kindness.

And who knows? Maybe you’ll start a new pattern—not just for Father’s Day, but for life.

Talk to you next time.